Archive for the ‘HA HA HA’ Category

Some Players that we used to know

May 25, 2012 Leave a comment

Parody. It’s stuck in my head. And I felt like changing some words.  And yes, this is multiple weeks delayed, as well with the anti-nowak sentiment… but it was an idea i had.  Sue me (please don’t)

Parody of Gotye – Somebody That I Used to Know

Now and then I think of when they were with us
Like when we all said “Union til I die”
Told ourselves to trust in you
The only hope you gave was doop.
But that was before and it’s an ache that we still go through

You can get addicted to a certain kind of losing
We stay there til the end,
Always the end
So when we realized you do not make sense
All we could do was bang our heads
We all think it will be better when its over

You didn’t have to sell them off
Destroy the team and act like nothing had ever happened
we don’t even need you though
and you treat us like morons and it feels so rough
you didn’t have to stoop so low
have your trainers tell them on their way to practice
guess they didn’t need to know.
selling off some players that we used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you talk of money
Making us believe that we will get something out of it
What happened to the game we play
Sick of hearing every word you say
You say that things are coming slow
And you wouldn’t want us hung up on some captain that we used to know


Bye-Bye Justin Mapp

November 23, 2011 1 comment

Today, in the MLS Expansion Draft, the Montreal Impact selected Union midfielder Justin Mapp with 1 of their 10 selections from MLS rosters. Analyzing the list of players Union left unprotected, the most likely people to be selected were Mapp or Kyle Nakazawa. Naka and his ukelele get to stay rocking Manayunk for the time being, but we bid adieu to the most one-footed player Union have ever employed.

The statistics for Mapp are available on websites elsewhere, so I won’t bother you with them in this space. My take on Justin is that his drifting into the center of the pitch from the wing created congestion and not much else. He wore out a path in that direction that will only be equalled by the Villanova-Delaware football game to be played @ PPL Park. He will be easily replaced, and has been relegated to “butt-end of the joke” status. Peace out, Baldy.

Categories: General Soccer, HA HA HA

Match Preview: Union vs. New England Revolution

August 25, 2011 2 comments

Sunday, August 28 @ 7pm, PPL Park in Chester, PA

Match prediction:  This match won’t get played.

Hurricane Irene is going to rip the East Coast a new one, engulfing us in perilous amounts of rain and wind.  On second thought, maybe the wind will help Sebastien Le Toux’s corner kicks actually bend……  but I digress.  I think the weather is going to render the pitch unplayable.  Which may or may not be a good thing, based on their recent performances.  I think they need more practice time to get used to the Ruiz-less lineup that they still haven’t adjusted to yet.  And there’s that Freddy Adu guy that still needs to be worked in to the mix.  Maybe they can also use the rainy day and watch a movie called “Union vs Toronto FC from May 28, 2011.”  I know that’s one of MY favorites.

The other aspect to consider are the faithful supporters who will brave the elements to attend this match.  I think the match should be postponed in advance of this weather event to save the supporters from themselves.  The match against Seattle showed that not all ticket-holding fans will show up during a rainy game, but a significant number of fans did.  And this storm Sunday is not a run-of-the-Seattle-mill rain storm.  There’s nothing I would rather have to round off my weekend than a Union shellacking of the Rev’s, but in the interest of public safety, this match should be played another day.  We’ll have fun watching New England lose regardless of what date it’s actually played, so we can stow this game away for a rainy day.  Oh, wait, nevermind.

Nick Y., the other .5 of Unholy Union

Postgame Reaction: Union vs Sporting Kansas City

June 23, 2011 3 comments

They say draws are like kissing your sister, and I guess that saying is to mean that getting to kiss a girl is good, but that it’s your sister makes it disgusting.  Well, this match was kind of like that, if your sister is a transexual.


Ok, I feel a little better now.

Then again, that was the last place team in the Eastern Conference they were facing…  I’m going to punch something…

Thus is the maddening back-and-forth we’re left to deal with in this aftermath.  They played very well in possession and creating chances.  But much of their play was a bit too slow and deliberate which allowed SKC to adjust and defend accordingly.  Le Toux and Ruiz worked together better than they had at any point of this season.  They combined for many chances on goal, which is great to see.   But most of those shots went wide (all of Le Toux’s) and only 1 forced a quality save (Fat Chooch’s free kick).  Paunovic started (I should have seen this match ending this way just because of him) and played comfortably in the central attacking midfielder (CAM) role, and didn’t kill the team.  But he’s still too old and doesn’t know the team well enough to play at the speed that we need to take advantage of a team that knows it’s inferior and played the entire match hoping for a draw.  The defense played solidly and didn’t allow 40-year-old non-virgin Mondragon to be threatened more than once or twice.  But that’s because KC played the entire match as if they were more than happy to leave with a point from a scoreless draw.  Sheesh.

This should have been the soccer version of the scene in The Godfather when Sonny Corleone meets his end, or at least a re-run of the match vs Toronto FC, but instead we’re left with back-to-back matches against last-place teams yielding just a single point in the standings.  And, unlike the aforementioned TFC match, the Union are back to not finding the net.  They have no goals this week, with another patsie opponent, Chivas USA, awaiting them Saturday.  Granted, leading scorer Danny Mwanga was unavailable due to a knee injury, but with an attack-minded lineup in from the start, I feel the result of this match should have been a foregone conclusion. 

I’m on the record, through the YSA Report podcast, as saying that the first 17 matches can be about building the team, and gelling, and all of that hokey pokey nonsense that coaches talk about, but the final 17 are purely about results.  Therefore, I won’t rip them for using the experimental lineup that they did, as this was just the 15th match of the season.  However, home matches against bottom-feeders shouldn’t result in anything other than wins.

End rant.

Nick, the other .5 of Unholy Union

Match Preview: Union vs Sporting Kansas City

June 21, 2011 5 comments

When:  Wednesday, June 22, 7:30pm.  Where:  PPL Park, Chester, PA

DO NOT START PAUNOVIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Nick, the other .5 of Unholy Union

YSA Report-Featuring the Co-Bloggers of Unholy Union

Dan K. and Nick Y. joined Murph of The Union Dues.  Thanks are owed to Earl Gardner for hosting the 3 of us, and for all of his production work.  We both look forward to being invited back to the YSA Report again in the near future.

Touch-Lines : Not driving on the left side of the road

May 10, 2011 1 comment

 Once more, your duo of awesome present to you our O.C.D, A.D.H.D, Run DmC topical points of view with – Touchlines.

I wonder if Beckham will use the excuse that he was in a car accident to not come out to Philly and play soccer.  I wonder how long I can hold this over my g/f’s head for not letting me sell my tickets, and instead take her.  Wonder how long until she realizes we don’t have close enough seats to “see his face”.

Will we see any added enforcement for reckless challenges on players that can result in injury, or do refs not have a leg to stand on.

Don Garber is ready to clear the PLS – Peg Legged Soccer.

Discussion between myself and Nick about a new google search to this blog:
Daniel K… we got searched by “what kind of shoes does jorge perlaza wear”
Daniel K… what
Daniel K… the
Daniel K… fuck
Nicholas Y… I tagged him in my post, that’s probably why it came up
Nicholas Y… Better than someone trying to figure out if Kyle Nakazawa has a girlfriend
Daniel K… lol
Daniel K… or kyle nakazawa looking to see if someone wants to be his girlfriend
Nicholas Y… could be

Pacquio had to go 12 rounds with Mosely.  I’m sure Jack Mac can take on LA Galaxy in less.

Will the LA game end in a 1-nil battle once again?  Will it be 0-0 this time?  1-1?  Only Nowak will know.

And for you computer geeks, what is he trying to spell out?  Seriously, this is just a cruel joke and it will say “HAHA” at the end in binary.

Landon Donovan reminds me of that guy in the college dorm who always wore swim shorts, sandals, and a button down t-shirt that was open and even walk around the dorm in bare feet.  What I’m trying to say is, he looks like a douche.  (I don’t care that he’s on the USMNT, he looks like a douche!)*

Our other co-worker remarks how he loves dead horses.  Take that as you will.

And once again, Beckham was in a rear-end accident.  By “rear-end” we mean “sexual affair”, and by “accident” we mean “fell on top of her, I swear”.

Speaking of wash-ups, whatever happened to Charlie Sheen?

This has been your regularly scheduled where on the doll did he touch-….. i mean Touch Lines.

*Alexi Lalas will forever be the douchiest player in my eyes.

Categories: HA HA HA, Touch Lines