Home > Touch Lines > Your “Is it dead?!?” Touchlines

Your “Is it dead?!?” Touchlines

Taking my time away from pissing off those on big soccer 😀

The US Women’s national team is playing North Korea today. I didn’t realize they let women do things…  Hold on a second *someone whispers into my ear* OH!  Wait, they’re not muslim?  What are they?  *whispers*  Oh, asian… right.  So they let women do things? *whispers again*  Oh, asian communists… and your point?

I attempted to start watching this game at work, but I.T. got smart and blocked ESPN3.  I guess my watching every World Cup match last year brought it to their attention or something.

In news of the CONCACAF presidency circus – nothing new…which is suprising.  All I know from news articles from Barbados and Jamaica – which let me tell you, are unbiased – is that the “President of Concacaf Lisle” shit for brains “Austin” is still trying to use a Bahamian court to overrule FIFA, who is under the jurisdiction of a real court in Zurich (okay, it’s more like a fantasy wonderland).   This screams one of those backroom brawls where the little guy is so beat up that even his friends are yelling at him to “stay down” but he’s too brain damaged already to know otherwise.

CONCACAF Gold Cup went off without a success… wait… No, that’s right, without a success.  Between the beginning where 5 players on Mexico were found with illegal substances in their body, and USA barely even managing to score 1 or 2 goals a game, the predicted final happened.  USA versus Mexico, on US soil…. in a place that was overrun with Mexico supporters (fail) that supported the winning team (fail) that came back from a dos y cero deficit (fail) in the first half (fail) before halftime…

Let’s face it, Bob Bradley reeks of fail.

Bald bastard.

In 1 week on the Union, the #oldserbian started 3 matches, and has won our hearts.  In 1 week he got 1 goal, 1 assist, and 1 scowl from Le Toux.  That’s a Union hat trick if I ever saw one.  It’s also nice to see our AARP program in full effect.

Scowl may or may not have happened.

Is there something wrong with Le Toux this year with not being able to score in the run of play?  Or is he just finally being French?

SoB bus trip to DC is this Saturday.  We will find out 2 or 3 things –
1) If people like my blog and/or online activity
2) What my blood type is (see 1 as to reasoning why)
3) If my liver can take such a long day (which will result in 2)

And with that, COME ON THE U!

*Please remember I’m only ripping on the stereotypical culture that is something other than american for a cheap laugh… If you think I’m being sexist, go make me a sandwhich.


– Dan K

Categories: Touch Lines
  1. eek
    June 28, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    My LeToux theory is complete BS. But it goes something like this. In Seattle, he had a girlfriend. He was nothing to write home about. He comes to Philly, doesn’t have a girlfriend, has a killer first year with the U. At some point between then and now, he gets a girlfriend. Can’t score on the field. This is a complete logical fallacy. But it makes sense to me. Because nothing else does.

    • djkw418
      June 28, 2011 at 1:22 PM

      Haha, i love it though.

    • June 29, 2011 at 11:47 AM

      My theory is that someone who entered the squad upset the cart and LeToux hasn’t recovered. And it wasn’t Chris Agorsor.

      • djkw418
        June 29, 2011 at 12:20 PM

        I’m not being serious………

  2. Mr. Cliche
    June 28, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Women, play soccer with ’em, can’t live without ’em.

  3. Jinzi
    June 29, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    That was a pretty orientalist and racist jab at Muslims.Keep in mind, Pakistan, Indonesia, and Bangladesh, all Muslim nations, has elected a female head of state before the United States. Nearly a third of the members of the Egyptian Congress are women. Not all Muslims countries are Saudi Arabia and Iran.

    • djkw418
      June 29, 2011 at 12:14 PM

      Yes, I was making an off color, ignorant, blatant JOKE. Generalizations beget the worst of us, and I only take a lighthearted approach to it in a blatantly stupid way. Neither I nor my co-blogger have any racist, sexist, nor continentist views on anyone because we see people as people and don’t necessarily lump them into their dominant predisposed religions, government, or stereotypes (suprised i didn’t throw in terrorist?). It’s just intriguing to hear North Korea, known mostly for it’s communism and tighter than USSR wall, allow national soccer teams for both genders (yet alone anyone) which was the overall point of it. If you don’t get that I’m trying to make harsh, rude jokes for the purpose of being harsh and rude in a soccer topic setting, that’s fine. I’ve been called worse things than a bigot, and none of them are true anyway.

    • djkw418
      June 29, 2011 at 12:27 PM

      I also had a disclaimer at the bottom even saying that I was trying to get a cheap laugh.

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