Home > Touch Lines > Touch lines – Captain Jack will get you paid tonight

Touch lines – Captain Jack will get you paid tonight

Welcome to your bribery alleged update of touchlines.  This time we’ll score twice as much.

“Uncle” Jack Warner has been dooped!  His vice president, or assitant, or however this oligarchy works, has brought forward allegations that Jack Warner, president of CONCACAF, had set up a meeting with other CONCACAF members with FIFA presidential candidate Bin Hammam (the guy who is responsible for Qatar in 2022) so that they can publicly bribe for votes behind closed doors for a whopping 40,000 USD.  If you want to secure votes from those who are pocketing over 6 figures from other bribes, make sure it’s more than an accountant’s starting salary.

Word has it (which by this posting is probably news) we have signed the 33 year old Serbian striker.  Next week we are going to be signing his bedside nurse.  She can do double time for Ruiz.

From the birthplace of soccer, Fulham have officially qualified for UEFA Europa league on Fair Play.  I wonder if I can get into the basketball all star game based off all of my “Good Sport” trophies I received when playing CYO.

The Gold Cup is around the corner, and NYRB lose more reasons for people not to come to the stadium.

In all seriousness, Juan Agudelo, Rafael Marquez, Tim Ream, and De Rosario are all called up for their respective National duties.  In looking at this, Nick and I forgot that Canada existed and both said “oh yea, damn canadian”.

Ruiz called up for international duty.  90% of Union fans rejoice.  Why?  Because our leading scorer is going to be gone.  It’s all in the stats.

On July 15th, the Inaugural River Cup will be played by the FO of the Philadelphia Union, and the SoBs of… well… the SoB’s.  Say what you will about the SoB’s, but nothing is finer than seeing a ginger in a kilt try to play soccer.

The trip to Toronto will show us exactly who can’t cross international borders… I’m looking at you Nakazawa.

Real Madrid is officially our “Big friendly at the Linc”.  Some people are happy, others are mad at the prices, where as, i’m laughing my ass off.  Why?  My girlfriend won’t get to see her ‘other’ “favorite” soccer player because she’ll be out of country.  She’s 0 for 2 for ‘soccer heart throbs’.  Schaudenfraud my friends.

  1. Dan's Girlfriend
    May 26, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    But little do you know, I’m going out of the country to spend time with Ricardo of Brazilian heart throb fame.

    • djkw418
      May 26, 2011 at 2:46 PM

      again…not going to give you this link anymore…


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