Updated edit: As i am one usually against revising things that are posted, I dont care, so i put disclaimers. Original post purely in tact, but this above is added in. As it’s sinking in, I’m proud that we have a Kit sponsor. I’m not entirely happy on the choice, nor the way the jersey looks, but it’s slowly sinking in. Right now it’s not so much the rage as to when I wrote it, it’s now more of a cynical feeling, and slight pride within it with all the clever remarks we can create. I’m still not entirely happy with the choice, but we have it and we’ll have to deal with it. Too bad for all the other teams when they get beat by a buch of bimbos…..
Let me please take this time to issue a WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN’S EYES
Bimbo? Fucking Bimbo? What the fucking hell!? That’s our new sponsor? ON OUR JERSEYS! Fucking christ. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?
Let’s give a history lesson here:
Bimbo… Ok, for the lack of use of English language amongst Mexican countries (no offense… and yes i’m being purposefully ignorant here..much like a bimbo) I will spell out the pronunciation of the company.
Beem-bo is a Mexican based food company specializing in pastries. Full name Grupo Beem-bo. It’s much like a Johnson and Johnson or INBV company, an umbrella capital company that buys up smaller companies as their own profit making machines, usually local companies throughout their areas of reach. They also have their own products, but you know how marketing ploys are, “It’s all in the name”. Where would Engelbert Humperdinck be without that glorious name?
Beem-bo… or Bimbo as it’s spelled in Mexicanida, is a combination of words (combined on purpose) often associated with bread and pastries, Bingo and Bambi… Yes, a lottery game and a deer. Double WTF…
On a personal level, I never heard of Beem-bo until I’ve seen billboards on 95. And looking at that bear with bread, I went “what the fuck” then, just like I’m saying it now. Ok, so they’re a bread company, big woop. And with the rumors circulating, and the soon announcement of the sponsor, I was unaware of this company even being an option for a sponsorship (I’m not in the SoB nor anywhere near the rumor level as other people are). So when I saw comments making fun of Beem-bo, I took it for a grain of salt. How could they possibly pick this company, who the fuck’s heard of them anyway?
Well, apparently enough. Again, fully unaware, their USA headquarters is in Horsham, a move they made from Texas… that’s right. They moved HQ from good ole Texas to…Horsham… An upgrade to say the least, but..still? So, in all due purposes, they kinda are a local company, by association. Then I read what they own. Stroehmann’s bread, Thomas English muffins, Entenmann’s, Boboli pizza… ok, you got cred. I enjoy Stroehmann’s brand, and a coffee cake from time to time. Shit, I’m logicizing this deal. And this deal has been in the works for the past 6 months… who knew (people other than me and local populace).
Reading on from the Inquirer about the pre-announced announcement, they are also a possible buyer for the failing TastyKake. Hmm… I..guess… its…ok…
Back to reality though: The second I heard Bimbo was going to be on our jerseys I jumped. Being a poker player at heart, it comes with a level of procrastination. And even though available for over a year, I still never bought a damn jersey. Well, I have an original jersey coming in the mail as we speak. Thank you, I never would have bought it otherwise.
So, when you next see Bimbo on the Union jersey, and you brought you girlfriend to the game…please pronounce it correctly. The only fights we want to see in our stands if any (please don’t fight) are soccer fights…not your girlfriend beating the living shit out of you because she thought you called her a bimbo.
-Dan K. .5 of unholy union and rare contributor of social tirades